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Friday Book Review with Chuks | Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus by John Gray.
The first time I ran through this book I got a spine and clear difference between the way men and women perceive love. It was almost magical.
Since we’re in that season of the year, I know this will be a good read for you. However, you will get it as a video summary and if you want the ecopy, get it here.
Enjoy the video!
Does True Love Exist in the Office?
LOVE 1:
That day was different. Or should I say she felt different that day? Well, whether she felt or the day was different, there was a difference with how she felt and the day too… 😁💞
Yes, it was her birthday. She hardly slept well the previous night. Her mind racing. Her heart pacing. Her love 💝 waiting. You know how you feel when it’s your day and he has not shown up. You know it right?
She could only just play her love movie in her imagination. No director. No producer. No list of cast. The videographer and every crew member existed in her mind.
She got to the office and boom!? He left her the nicest flower she ever received in her life. (Don’t give that look now as if you’ll not at least begin to melt if you were Ms Zawadi, a Kenyan working in Ghana.)
She looked back as if to say, who did this? But no one was looking forward as if to reply, I did. She closed her office door and took a deep breath. Was she confused again as she was between should I take it or who must have done this or can Mr Right be in this office and never said a word to me?… Hunnn?!
It was exactly 07:44am and she had 10mins to waste before resuming work. Everyone, but this secret admirer, forgot her birthday.
Abdul, like the fiance of Bill Gate’s daughter, is from the land of the Pharoahs. At this time, he wasn’t willing to let Israelite, not Israelites if you understand, go. Why? Love.
Ms Zawadi got a flower and a date request to meet Abdul at Simret Ethiopian Restaurant and a finishing touch at Pinocchio Galeto – one for local dishes and the later, lots of ice cream.
That night was coming too slow. You know what I mean right? You just can’t wait to get there.
From Pinocchio Galeto to Lululu Lalalato. I don’t know why that means too… lol. They started dating a week after that experience. Like a Judit Polgar and a Sven Carlsen (both chess masters), they used the office space as the chess board to play the game of love. Hmmm…
Down the lane, nine months later, they got married. Did I say nine months? A year and six months I beg your pardon.
The duo did it so well that some love birds in the company had to ask them how come both of you did this so swiftly without any spill over?
I’ll share their response later. However, let’s see another experience.
LOVE 2:
She knew they had this spark between them. They always disagreed during meetings. It was like a rivalry. Elna (beloved) and Emeka were friends (like my students will tell me, they were friends but not friend friend or they say she’s my bestie but not my sidie…) in school before graduating from the University of Capetown, SA.
Emeka was employed in the company two years before Elna joined. He knew she was coming for the job. He helped her. She needed an inside information on how to prepare for the interview. Although, he wasn’t part of the panel, his heart was already panelled to solar Elna or something like that… In essence, the guy was falling.
But was he ready for office romance?
Elna knew she wanted the job. She braced herself and came in. As former classmates, they got close but I don’t know, somehow they started going South.
Before you begin to judge them, have you found yourself in that situation where you like 💕 someone but the reaction sometimes is not cool. You know you’re falling but you see nails on the floor and yet you still want to fall on a smooth floor.
Let me ask, is love really smooth? Would there be rough times when you love? Can it be a test?
Or do you want Steve Harvey to run an interview on four guys on a live show with you before you choose the right guy to date? (I actually saw that show last week and even before Kelly choose Angelo, I already loved the dude but my love for his charisma is not a guarantee for a lasting relationship).
Elna wanted to be loved just like every lady or most ladies hunger for. It’s not bad. I don’t think so. Who wouldn’t want to be loved?
They started dating few months after she resumed work. It felt good and rough just like Zawadi and Abdul experienced. Love’s journey can be rough too. That’s part of the process. However, I think there’s a time equation in love.
Two years later, they broke up. Elna left the company with shame. Emeka was lucky he was so good that they couldn’t allow him go. He felt he could handle the trauma. Just like Elna couldn’t, he also couldn’t.
He went into depression for about a month. He had to apply for “sick leave.”
Most times guys think they can fall in and fall out. Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet. I know that ladies are soft. Some are hard. But I think every woman deserves a gentle touch and a…
Elna cried on the last day of work. The Uber driver that came along to pick her was so embarrassed but had to do business instead of try to clean up what he didn’t throw away.
This “couple” couldn’t keep their relationship intact. She was to report to Emeka every week and then receive appraisal from him.
Now, imagine if he gives her a faulty appraisal, will she allow him get a full hug that week? I don’t think so. What he will get is a h, not even a capital H. A small h that’s not bold. Lol… 😁
So, the “chairman” kind of started to do appraisingnalizationism (again, I don’t know the meaning). All I know is that I must get my full hug… 🙆
Where do you think they got it wrong? Where do you think the first couple got it right? Can you fall in love in the office and keep it? How?
Somehow, if permitted to give a different title to this, I’d say, Can I Handle True Love in the Office?
My next post will be on how to manage this love when you see it in the office. For me, I believe one can find this love in the office. Do you believe?
7 Ways You Can Access the Minds of Role Models Who are Far From You.
It’s hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow
John Maxwell
We have always confused the two words – mentor and role model. We mix them together always but in clearer terms, a mentor is someone you have physical access to and who can guide you on something while a role model is someone you admire from a afar.
The question now is, how do I access men and women who are far from me but inspire greatness in me?
I’ve been learning this first hand and I feel I need to share what I’ve experienced so far.
The first key is…
- Get Their Books
This is by far the easiest to do. Thanks to Amazon both for the ebooks and hard copies.
Few days ago, I was going through a post online and I saw list of books to help you become a better writer. Instantly, I had to visit a site where I get free ebooks from. As I did, I saw most of the books I needed and sure I downloaded them.
Just like that! 👌
I might not see the authors, but I have their ideas at my reach.
- Search And Follow Their Blogs
I love Jeff Goins because I can access his blog on writing secrets.
Go to google homepage or any browser and type the blog of (the name of the person you’re looking for).
Is the blog important?
I bet you. For some of them, they write and post weekly. So, you can harvest their thoughts from there just with a click. It’s amazing!
https://giphy.com/gifs/design-youtube-years-Fz4dQsg51I8Ew
- Subscribe To Their Youtube Channels
If you’re not the text person like me, just hit youtube.com and then search for the person’s name. If you see their channel (not always for all) you can subscribe and get notifications every time a video is uploaded.
Simple!
- Download Other Videos About Them from Other YouTube Channels.
This is option two to the previous.
Whether you subscribe or not, you can also download their videos from other channels.
For this option, you don’t necessarily need to find their channel. What I do here is I search the person’s name and download the videos I see that interests me the most.
- Podcast
Try this again: Go to Google and type podcast of (the name of the person you’re looking for) or podcast by (the name of the person you’re looking for).
And boom!… instantly you’ll see results. Sometimes you might not see what you want but most times you will if they have done any.
Podcast can help if you feel getting the video is cumbersome. And you can listen to podcast on your way to work without the feel of missing the video graphics.
- Register For Their Online Training Or One On One Mentoring Session
Webinars? Yes. Live sessions? Yes. I’ve done this countless times. This can be so transforming. You get to listen to the person in real time. You read it well – real time and even ask questions.
I’ve followed a live webinar by Robert Kiyosaki, Brian Tracy and the author of Secrets of the Millionaire’s Mind, T. Harv Eker and mhen, it was phenomenal!
- Follow Their Social Media Handles
I like to follow especially their Twitter and Facebook handles. For Instagram, I also do but not as quick as for Facebook and twitter.
Access has been granted to anyone that wants to improve, whether you want to learn from Uganda or Libya or Zimbabwe or Togo, you have access.
And what does this mean?
No room for mediocrity. No one has an excuse to do things without global standards. You might not get there one day but you can start the journey with any of these.
I hope you’ll start to learn from your role models today through any of these means and if you have other means, you can also share with us.
How Can Conferences and Trainings I Attend Affect my Personal Development?
I attended a meeting in Lagos, CM2014. It’s an annual Easter Retreat organized by Dominion City Worldwide in collaboration with Golden Heart Foundation, founded by Dr. David Ogbueli, for anyone who wants to experience real life transformation.
I think the 2020 version will be held from 10th till 12th April, in Abuja, Enugu and Lagos respectively. My first encounter with that event, has been instrumental in the direction of my career.
Amongst other reasons for this transformation, the top for me is this: I came out with a personal action plan which I started off few weeks after the conference. And since then, my life has taken a firm direction.
Still in line with this, I can remember a post I wrote titled Does Motivational Books and Stories Really Work? and the premise of that was the way most of us think about motivational books.
I’ve heard folks criticize authors and say all manner of things about them yet I’ve seen those who have profited from these same books – myself inclusive.
So what’s the jinx?
Well, same thing with conferences. A lot of us, as employees, will be attending so many this year. In particular, the World Economic Forum, 2020 is coming up and the world is getting ready to be there.
Perhaps, yours might be other events. But the question is: Why do we attend meetings and results don’t show up in our lives? Why?… Year in, year out?
This is the truth of the whole matter… From personal observations…
The speakers inspire us 100% but once the program is over, that power to inspire us begins to reduce.
Thus, the question:
How can I retain that inspiration until I get results?
Like I said earlier, the inspiration vibe dies down with time but personal observation makes me assert these:
1). If You Have A Plan Before Leaving The Conference, You’re Able To Access 30% Of The Inspiration To Move.
This is so real to me. I’ve tried it. I’ve seen it. In fact, after service yesterday, my Pastor told us to do this same thing as we were asked to write out something that we’ll focus on for the week.
I’ve also overheard my boss saying something like this: I don’t write down what the speaker says during a meeting. I only give attention to what what he’s saying is inspiring me to do.
That’s the point!
2). If You Have A Video, You Have 20% Of The Inspiration.
If you’ve gone for training sessions for employees or other kinds, you’ll see folks record with their phones and take home or if the organizers have a good media team, you’ll be lucky to get the video.
However, it’s 20% you will have. It’s not as bad as having nothing though.
For several events, which I didn’t attend, I take the video and I just get to move on each time I listen to it. I use the YouTube site to download personal development videos but I’ve seen a distinction between videos and audios.. And that will lead me to the next.
3). Audio Gives Us 15%
Trying to conserve data, I’ve had times when I downloaded YouTube videos as audio. And after a while, I regretted doing that. I felt it would have been better to get the video than the audio.
Have you experienced that before?
Currently, once I see a video I need for my personal development, I get it. I don’t really do the audio thing. However, because of mobile space, I convert to audio in my phone then leave the video in my PC.
But when it’s an important video, I leave it in my phone.
Thanks to YouTube offline video option, where you can see a video offline after downloading into your phone.
4). Just Notes Is 10%…
Here lies the majority… Although, not in all cases. I wonder how some persons go for important meetings without notes. Thanks to evernote app.
Writing alone gives us access to 10% inspiration. Yes, 10%. If you harness it and make a decision with a plan, you will gain more than 10%.
5). Imaginations Of The Conference Is Very Volatile… But It Stays At Less Than 10%.
Remember, it’s my personal observation. While this might be less that 10%, if mixed with any of the above, the result can be dramatic.
In fact, anyone who has the emotional energy of an event has the event. Yet, how I wish emotions alone can produce tremendous results. Personal development is beyond emotions.
Events don’t really change us. “They” give us the opportunity to change. What we do after the event is what brings about the change we need.
What conferences will you be going for in 2020? Or which have you gone for already?
We can use this formulae:
Hear. Meditate. Decide. Plan. Act.
Next time you attend a conference, don’t just listen. Make decisions and plan. Or at best, get the video if you think the conference is worth it.
The more of these you combine as an employee, the greater the changes you’ll experience.
Lastly, remember that building a personal brand as an employee, cannot be wished into us. It has to be built deliberately.
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