Surprisingly, we are in March. Sometimes I tend to imagine if there’s a hidden ghost going after our time.

It’s still 24hrs a day but I guess that someone feels as tired as I do after work each day and keeps thinking that the way forward is to do more work.

Well, more work will not really make the deal better. Managing your time will but managing your energy is the most optimum.

Have you discovered that you have the best time to read and do certain work like writing? And if you alter that moment, it’s always difficult to do that same work with accuracy while maintaining your inner stability.

This is one reason why managing your energy will give you more productivity than just managing your time.

Leaving off here will not be fruitful. So I’d share few things you can do to manage your energy.

Physical Energy

Focus here is your physical body and how you take care of it. So how can you hit your physical energy?

• Sleep earlier
• Do exercises at least three times a week.
• Take little sized meals at regular time intervals for energy boost.
• Learn to take breaks too during work.

Emotional Energy

“When people are able to take more control of their emotions,” says Tony Schwartz and Catherine McCarthy, “they can improve the quality of their energy, regardless of the external pressures they’re facing.”

How can I do this?

• Use deep abdominal breathing to relax your mind from time to time.
• Learn to appreciate others in little things. It’s known to boost both the feel of the recipient and donor.
• Don’t be in a hurry to act swiftly when negative situations arise. Try to see things from different perspectives.

Mental Energy

How much can you focus on tasks without being interrupted? Do you find multitasking a good work mode?Try this techniques to help you stay more focused:

• Do your high mental work away from your phones or other devices to wade off interruption.
• Set out a specific time of the day to respond to messages.
• Learn to do the most important work first, when you arrive the office.

Spiritual Energy

What’s your inner purpose? What are your values? Do you find time to connect with them or do you just work and work and work yourself to any direction?

Connecting with your spiritual energy makes you come alive again and again.

• Make use of your sweet spot. Find it and make sure you get in contact with it. If there is an activity you don’t like and can delegate it, fine.
• Block time to connect to the most important things in your life. It can be family time or prayer time or meditation time.
• Let your core values direct your life daily.

Taking your energy and monitoring how you expend it will give you an edge, not just in the work place but you will be fit to go home and still have good time and energy for those you left at home.

All through February, for Valentine’s sake, we’ve been talking about relationship – from Does True Love Exist to How Do I Handle Office Romance and last week How Can one Handle Office Breakup?

On this last Monday of the month, we’ll shift our attention to another kind of relationship. It’s almost ignored. But do you know that orchestrated mentorship can make you do in 1 year what on your own you can’t do in 5 years?

In fact, I’m a witness to that. Mentorship is what drove me to the Prescription Learning Center, Enugu, Nigeria.

All the while I’ve been doing mentorship trainings for teens but then I ceilinged in on my capacity.

I knew I couldn’t do much if no one helped me. So I started looking for someone who can. Someone who’s doing what I want to do. And someone who can raise my vision view – from just a local perspective to a global one.

And I did. I saw my boss. With time, he’s turned to be my mentor. A book will be needed to help understand what I’ve gained from him.

Has it been smooth? No.

Am I grateful for the journey so far? I bet you.

I’ll just share three truths I’ve discovered about mentorship.

Related Contents

Mentoring Matters: Three Essential Element of Success

Inspirational Mentorship Stories

How to Build a Great Relationship with a Mentor.

Mentorship is better when you have a personal vision already.

This is my case. I didn’t apply to work with my boss through submission of CV. I had the most important element – a personal vision.

When you have a personal vision, you will look for what you want. It’s not a gambling process. I want to be a digital marketer and so I look for a digital marketing expert and submit for mentorship.

Mentorship does not take away your personal experience.

Contrary to some notion we have about mentorship, it does not take away your experience. Rather, it helps you go through your experience or mistakes more intelligently.

Another thing it does is this, it makes your mistakes come faster.

A person without a mentor can make 20 mistakes in 5 years whereas with a mentor, you’ll make that same number in 5 months. And the later is better because it means faster learning.

No matter what your mentor tells you, if you don’t act with it, no result will show up just like what I shared on Does Motivational Books and Stories Really Work? I and Does Motivational Books and Stories Really Work? II.

Mentorship yields more when demand’s placed from both sides.

The mentor places demands on the mentee with assignments while the mentee does with questions and feedbacks.

Are you aware that, sometimes, the question you don’t ask is not answered?

So, you can have a mentor, sit with him for years and someone else will come in, sit with him for minutes, and get a whole lot more than you.

And somehow, asking more will mean you have a project you’re working on.

Let’s me imagine you’re working in an organization and you want to get the best from mentorship, then consider these:

• Do you have a personal vision of where you’re going to?
• Who can you learn from? (This can be in the same office as you are or outside that organization. For me, I prefer inside and that’s what I’ve been enjoying for about three years now.)
• Then, do you have projects that you’re working on?

See, the worst thing you can do for a mentor is to have his time and not ask anything.

John Maxwell taught me that… In one of his books, he mentioned how before he goes out to meet with a mentor, he gets a sheet of paper, with loads of questions on it. That alone triggers the mentor to help.

Remember, we make progress by standing on the shoulders of those who have gone ahead of us. Whose shoulders can you utilise today?

I want to imagine she’s been having a nice time with Kamsy. Work has been smooth. She knows that once she’s in the office, her Kamsy will make her smile.

They have done all they need to do. Everything is going roller coaster as in Disney Land. Can you think about that scenario for a moment?

Excuse me let get my pen…

(Not a mistake… Are you sure you’re not in a relationship that’s in the office? 😁)

… all of a sudden, silence everywhere. He travelled for an assignment. His phone was unreachable for the two weeks he was off. He never knew he was going into the interior of an African nation for a survey that will help the organization build an orphanage for the less privileged.

His boss spoke with him via mail. Cecilia never collected Kamsy’s mail address. No conversation. He was always tensed. Busy from noon to noon. Well, the mosquito in the forest gave him a warm welcome.

What a project? His body suffering. His love relationship suffering. She’s waiting. It’s just four days and no hi…

Sometimes guys don’t understand how a girl who’s normal before they got close suddenly can’t stay normal without hearing from him… She’s restless and she’s just jfjsisnfksjwmf (that’s not a word, it’s an expression of how she’s feeling now). Well, from personal observation, babes are more emotional than guys. So, her relationship means a lot. Not withstanding, it does to the guy too.

https://giphy.com/gifs/6wpHEQNjkd74Q

Now, I can imagine King Solomon when he said don’t awaken her love when you’re not ready.

Why?
(For guys who want to date, please know what you’re going in for She needs attention and she deserves it. If you met her and said you love her, what you’re saying is you’re getting ready, sorry, you’re ready to give her that attention. If you’re not ready, please leave her alone.)

Back to business… From a step to another, they broke up. Now you want to know when?… Four weeks after he returned. He started acting strange. Just strange. Bla bla bla… They got to hang out and talked about it. It seem as though they couldn’t resolve it and so they crashed it.

Personally, I hate the word break up. But someone said,

a break up is better than a divorce.

In fact, during a teens online session I was having last Saturday, on Whatsapp (topic was: Is Love at First Sight Real?) one of the group members emphasized the issue of people growing in love than just falling in love.

So, some how, Cecilia and Kamsy couldn’t build it again. And it shattered. If you’re in this case, what will you do?

• Don’t take it personal

This is easier said than done. You might hold yourself in the office space but once in the bathroom, tears begins to roll down and somehow you even kill your partner with a mental knife.

However, try to accept what has happened. Easy? No. Possible? Yes. Your emotions might not allow you but hey,

• Take out time and seek for help

If it’s possible, ask for leave. Yes. Tell your office you need to see a psychologist. If granted, go see a helper. It can be your spiritual leader or a friend, if a psychologist is not helpful.

It’s tough when you see him everyday in that office. Or she comes in and your head bows off. And see, this had nothing to do with who’s at fault. It’s the breaking you are experiencing.

• Give yourself time to recover

The worse thing you can do to yourself is to enter a relationship after breaking from another. You’ll most likely go in with negative baggage. And that new person will be overwhelmed with it. What if you take six months and clear your head. Some persons might feel they are the new James Bond. OK! Go ahead. You’re Black panther right? 😐 Success.

• Please, don’t hate

Here is the test. Acid test, I call it.

If you dare hate that person after the breakup, in my opinion, you never had a real love for the person. Your love was all lies.

Now, I didn’t say go and allow the person play with your emotions again. No! A million times no. (Well, there are those who still returned. But stay away first.)

• Leave the organization

Hmmm… Might be tough, but this can happen the other way round – you’re sacked! I feel for babes more here. It happens to guys too. Sure. When your head is off, you can’t work efficiently again.

Most times, both of you can’t carry out a project together and it’s worse when those things you did before, all of a sudden, you stop doing it and everyone sees that you are not together any more.

(Holy god, where is this coming from… 🙆😁… I don’t think I’m the one writing this. Any way, it’s all good.)

• Stay open as you move on

A break up is not the end of life. That’s why it’s important to count the cost before going in. Very vital.

Now, if this is happening at the relationship level, what happens with marriage?

The media has given us the meaning of marriage. We’ve seen how it has turned the family up side down. America is suffering from it, yet, I keep asking myself, what’s keeping the Obamas? What’s keeping Gates? What’s keeping other men who have their homes intact?

Check out the real men and their families and you’ll see that there is a principle of marriage that they adapt to.

I’m not a marriage counsellor but if you want to understand marriage well, ask yourself this question: Who started marriage? Why was it started?

Without restrictions and forceful adherence, check out these books on marriage and you’ll get the real milk.

• The Purpose and Power of Love and Marriage
• 7 Stages of Marriage
• Make Your Marriage a Success

My final words on Office Romance: Be careful.

How was your val celebration?

Valentine is in the air. I decided to do nothing today but then I changed my mind.

I’m listening to my boss on radio, who’s talking about reasons why Men Date Certain Girls and Marry Others.

He mentioned three of those reasons as follows:

Secrecy

Why do we have scenarios where two people are madly in love and as they date for a while, courtship comes in and plans for wedding is on and one day a friend’s telling you that she (your fiancée) has a baby…

What!

You’re almost yelling. What do you do? Or she’s been married before or she has a disease, what do you do?

Cohabitation

This is just almost the norm in our young bubbling society. Girls flirt and just get to his house for a visit and after a while she’s spent 4 weeks. Without counting, she’s already cooking, washing and all house chores are on her.

Then he wakes up one day and he’s like, I’m not doing again. He’s seen everything he wants to see. So the guy feels like mhen, I need something fresh.

(My Boss had to stress the fact that while some ladies do this to themselves, he is not supporting what the guy is doing too. He’s enjoying himself and now he wants to move off.)

Ignorance

Some men are just loafing. No idea of what they want. Today, they’re with Jennifer, tomorrow they’re with Janet. Perhaps, her body size is something he’s going haywire for.

When a man have no idea of what he truly wants, he can decide to leave at any time.

In the course of the discussion, few callers called in and made their contributions. And I was able to catch their ideas in brief:

Caller 1:

Asserted that some girls go to visit men and just shamefully expose themselves. They just do things without thinking. They are dating but they are not conscious of the fact that what they display triggers his decision.

Caller 2:

Explained that some ladies just think that they will just do whatsoever they want and keep moving. Men see what’s happening and at that point, they begin to decide… She doesn’t ask how he’s paying rent or if he’s saving or some important life issues. Generally, she just comes in and brings nothing serious other than emotional feelings to the table

My boss responded to this by saying that if you’re a man and see that she is not a wife material, then why not leave her alone… No need playing with her. Allow her to go.

Another caller talked about how some persons just do dating for passing time and if they get a baby in the process, they just get into marriage that way.

From all that was said, I was able to get these:

• If a guy is not ready for you, why waste your time flocking around him.
• For guys, if you don’t want to get serious, allow the babe to go. (Although my generation like to play and have fun. Then when the fun turns fight, everyone runs away.) Babes shine your eye.
• Once a relationship begins, no need hiding anything. Although, no one exposes all her life to a man or to a woman just the first day they start dating. It takes time.

A Viking study reports that 74% of UK office workers aged between 25 and 34 said they have been involved in an office romance.

Valentine’s in four days time. Love’s in the air already. Red clothes all over the office space. Every or most ladies want a proposal and not just flower or hang out. Guys take note!… Ladies, should I increase the volume?

There’ll be millions of proposals 💕done that day and she said “yeses”. For some, that proposal might be from an office colleague… the lover boy sees you daily and is in love.

Now that he’s shown his interest or now that he’ll show his interest or paradeventure he shows his interest, how do you plan to manage it in the work place?

Let me confess. I’m not an expert on this but I’ve got some tips that will help you tremendously.

Why? I know you want your relationship to end like the first story of last week’s post. So, tip number 1:

Is this love real? Or are you getting attached to the dude because of late night work or a project?

There are times when due to an assignment given to two persons or a group, they can begin to get so close that they share personal intimate concerns.

From why were you not able to meet up with the delivery man and her response is like I had a faulty plumbing system and then he wants to recommend his plumber to her and then and then…

So, get to know if the project or assignment is what’s driving you or there’s something deeper than the project.

Although the assignment can be the trigger, being patient will help here and not falling in love like you have no control.

Are you aware of the company’s policy?

Before you begin a relationship with a colleague (or as soon as possible, after it commences) take a look at the company’s policies about dating coworkers says a post on office romance, the balance careers.

Amy Nicole Baker, who’s an associate professor of psychology at the University of New Haven, US and written lots of papers on workplace romance, advises that you “follow the rules and try to understand the reason they are in place… You ignore them at your peril.”

You need to do your home work on this. If possible, read it or ask for it. One thing with emotions is this: when it comes, it wants to drive away or feels away every other thing that’s not supporting its goal.

Can you have your senses in tact at work?

“Your professionalism,” says Baker, “may be called into question especially if people don’t see your motives for entering the relationship as positive.”

How do you plan to maintain your professionalism?

If the love 💝😁 is so strong, please hold ya sef… especially for ladies… Before you eat me up, 🙆 guys too can be emotional, therefore be careful too!

Mushy mushy is not allowed in the office. If you’re caught?! You’ll explain between romance and salary, which do you want and where.

Be careful of dating your superior. Why?

A relationship with your superior can create blindness to evaluation. He might not want to mark you down so that you’ll give him his hug for the day 😁 or she might not want to talk to you harshly to prevent fallout.

It brings colored judgement and trust me, your colleagues will not take it lightly. A professor of psychology and marketing at the University of Texas, Austin, Art Markman puts it this way, “It is a bad idea to get involve with anybody who is in your chain of command – up or down.”

• Let the relationship be made known to authorities (not everyone) involved. It’s safer.

• Set limitations or boundaries if two of you now decide to ride the coaster 💕.

Plan for, What if we break up?

Yes o. Very important. If the journey starts and we can’t move for a long while, what will I do? How will I handle he breakup?Let’s imagine it happens. What should you do?

“Anyone who’s ever been in a relationship,” opines Marksman again, “has said something less than sympathetic about an ex, but you have to be civil as if nothing ever went wrong and hope that the other person will do the same.”

You may be interested in this too:

• 5 Reasons to Avoid an Office Romance

Whatever you feel like, just know that there is a process to it. You can find Mr. Right in the office but stay safe so you don’t ruin your hearts and pockets.

Happy Valentine in addy! 👌💞